Those were the days when Shri Nathji’s movements to and fro from Mussoorie would be based upon the dates on which the childrens’schools opened and closed. It had been a bad year for the children. They had missed classes in September because of an attack of chicken pox. By the 15th of November the schools had closed, but Shri Nathji continued to stay on at Mussoorie. It was already December 1948, and Shri Nathji still remained at St. Andrews. The people in the plains could not understand what was keeping Shri Nathji in Mussoorie in the severe cold.
The Bhutts were very anxious that Shri Nathji come down and stay with them. People in Delhi wished for Shri Nathji’s darshan. Shri Nathji was receiving invitations to come to Allahabad as well. He could not make up his mind.
Mateshwari was loathe to go and stay with the Bhutts because of the attitude of Gangabai Bhutt, who had even then written to Mateshwari telling her that she was convinced that Mateshwari was angry with her, and that she was afraid of her, and that she knew that if Shri Nathji also became angry with her, neither she nor her husband would find salvation in heaven or on earth. In an indirect way, she also blamed Mateshwari for coming in the way of Jagdish’s marriage and for his death subsequently. She also suggested that Jagdish had left the world so that nothing would happen to Shri Nathji when the revolver attack was made on him, and that it was a weapon of Divine Love that took away Jagdish.
She had written that Bhutt wept before the portraits of Shri Nathji and Mateshwari with the intensity of his devotion and that nothing could come between him and his faith.
She also had visions in which the Gods Vishnu, Brahma, Mahesh had appeared before her, praising the Bhutts for their service to Shri Nathji. That she and Bhutt were resolved to serve Shri Nathji till the end of their lives, and to serve him even in their next life.
However if their serving Shri Nathji displeased Mateshwari in any way, then they would consider worshipping only the Niraakaar – the Invisible God.
Gangabai Bhutt had this habit of making pinpricks every time she wrote to people, and, on this occasion, in her letter to Mateshwari, there was a veiled threat that the Bhutts would stop serving Shri Nathji if Mateshwari did not change her attitude towards her.
Although Gangabai Bhutt wrote such letters on the spur of the moment, and seldom meant what she said, yet the letters affected Mateshwari in a hurtful manner.
Shri Nathji felt that Mrs. Bhutt’s letters, written in an intemperate tone, were one of the causes of Mateshwari’s ill health at Mussoorie, and that she had really not forgiven Mateshwari for being angry with her in June 1948.
Shri Nathji had often said in a light vein:
“Daanaa dushman naadaan dost se behtar hotaa hai
“A wise foe is better than an unwise friend!
“This is so because a wise foe will attack only after careful thought, whereas an unwise friend will bring trouble unasked, willy-nilly!”
However the attitude of Gangabai Bhutt was enough to make Shri Nathji decide to not to go to Delhi that winter. He could not subject the tender health of Mateshwari to further strain.
Shri Nathji wished to show the Bhutts that he was not dependent upon anyone in the world to serve him, and that if any one devotee ceased to serve him, he could create others who would serve him instead.
And yet all this was part of Shri Nathji’s leela upon earth. The Bhutts had to pass through various spiritual stages and tests to make their devotion perfect.
After all, Shri Nathji was only doing a favour on the devotees by allowing them to serve his physical body. Since people could not serve an invisible God, they had been given the chance of serving his visible form in the human body of Shri Nathji. It was an opportunity that came after the passing away of ages. It was not a chance that could be given to just anyone.