Those were times when the first signs of an insidious illness had made their presence felt in Mateshwari. She had a premonition that she was going to leave the world before Shri Nathji. She had always prayed that she leave the world before Shri Nathji, and the thought of death was ever-present in her mind. While at Malik Nagar on the 17th of December 1951 she made her Will for the first time.
She was very concerned that the house that she had purchased for Shri Nathji, which was now named Savitri Nivas, would not fall into wrong hands after her going. She had seen the fate that had befallen the Dehra Dun house of Shri Nathji. She knew how simple and innocent Shri Nathji was in worldly matters. And, therefore, she, being the daughter of a senior advocate like Lala Hargopal, thought it best to set down on paper the rights of her children. She wrote the Will in her own handwriting and in the English language, which was the language she used most often when making her notes:
“I am making this Will at the house of Nand Kishore–Nand Kishore kaa Ghar, Glass Factory, Malik Nagar, Ghaziabad. It is my fervent wish, that after my death, everything that I possess must go to my sons, Pran Nath and Priya Nath. They will have full rights to the property of Savitri Nivas. I want my children to live in the property and enjoy it, but I do not want them to sell it to anyone at anyone’s instigation at any time. I want my children’s children also to live in happiness in this house, which consists of Savitri Nivas and Savitri Nivas Cottage. I also want the Dehra Dun house to be sold, which belongs to my husband, Shri Bhola Nathji, so that the money can be kept in a bank and the children may live on the interest. For as long as I am alive, I may do as I please, but after I am gone, this Will shall exist for my children.
Savitri Devi.”
Mateshwari wrote the Will and then kept it away quietly amongst her belongings. It was a sad reminder of the mortality of human existence upon earth.
Mateshwari had often said that her mother had died when she was very young, and that the mother of Shri Nathji, Durga Devi, had also died when Shri Nathji was just a child. Perhaps it was like an unspoken tradition in the two families for the mother to die first.
Mateshwari would frequently refer to the Ramayana in which Sita Maharani had left the world before Lord Rama.
Mateshwari had this premonition about death since a long time and knew that she would be leaving the world before Shri Nathji.
She had often spoken of the sad fate that befell Jagatmata Saraswati Devi after the passing away of Shri Babaji Maharaj, and how she had sat by the side of his empty bed and pined away for him, and how she had been betrayed by the devotees of the time, who took no care of her, and, on the contrary, sided with the landlord in having her evicted from her home.
Mateshwari had seen how changeable the devotees could be and could not place any reliance on them to be loyal to her if anything were to happen to Shri Nathji.
Under no circumstances did Mateshwari wish to survive Shri Nathji. She would also say how blessed a woman was to pass away when her husband was still alive.
The little child, Priya Nath, without understanding the meaning of death, had always had a feeling within his heart that his mother would leave him one day. It was this apprehension that made him follow her around from room to room in the large house, Savitri Nivas, at Mussoorie. He was also very greatly affected whenever Mateshwari was ill and could not bear the thought of anything happening to her, which was why Mateshwari seldom disclosed her illnesses upon the children.