Saturday, May 30, 1992 hits back with a vengeance. It is one of the most terrible days for Priya Nath – a day that signals the downward trend of Shri Nathji’s good health, which He had scarcely enjoyed for a few days. “O Dear Lord, please save us and help us. O Dear Lord, it was a tachycardia of some sort, which later abruptly fell to 80 or so in a few seconds.Later when Priya Nath gave Shri Nathji Fruit Salt, he belched for a long time, thus showing it was gas. “Piyaji, kissee“Piyaji, shall we call a doctor? Let him come and check!”Priya Nath was in such a state of shock that he could not call any doctor and simply sat close to Shri Nathji, afraid to leave him for even a second.“O Lord – I have been crying the whole day long, because all doctors now think these symptoms are of effort angina while walking… I have passed a terrible day.”All throughout the rest of the evening and night Shri Nathji eats very little and drinks only 750 cc in contrast to 1100-1200-1400 cc that He usually drinks in the hot weather. His Blood Pressure is very low, as recorded by Priya Nath with great worry and trepidation.“O Lord, Pitaji’s Birthday is coming on the 23rd of June, and already Pitiji is feeling so unwell. O Lord, how will we do anything?”As Priya Nath talks to Dr. Khanna on the phone, Dr. Khanna says Shri Nathji should walk only up to 10-20 small rounds and not more; Dr. Umesh Gupta speaks of horrible laboratory tests, and echo-cardiography, Holter Monitor, etc., to diagnose what the problem is, and feels it is a heart problem and not a gas problem.“O Lord, my heart is breaking with weakness and sorrow at what has happened. O LORD SAVE US BY THY MIRACLE ALONE – HUMAN HANDS AND DOCTORS CAN DO NOTHING. O DEAR, DEAR, LORD, PLEASE HELP US, and SAVE US. WE SEEK REFUGE IN THEE! O LORD…PLEASE MAKE PITIJI’S HEART PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT AGAIN. O DEAR, DEAR, LORD, PLEASE LET HIM WALK HIS USUAL 60 LARGE ROUNDS AGAIN.”Priya Nath had read about persons whose hearts became weaker and weaker until they could hardly get up from bed, and withered away from heart failure. He could never imagine seeing Pitiji in such a state. Why did it all have to happen so suddenly when He had been enjoying such good health, and the 23rd of June was approaching so close?“Ho mubaarik iss jahaan men jalvaagar aaye huye,“Good Tidings be to the world, the Being of Glory has come,Shri Nathji sleeps off and on in His armchair even as Priya Nath awakens Him from time to time, afraid that His Blood Pressure has fallen too low – 158/60 – 140/60 because of a low fluid intake of only 750 cc in 24 hours.“Piyaji,“Piyaji does it appear as if someone has played any mischief?”Shri Nathji is referring to the home group consisting of numerous new persons, including servants, as well as dubious visitors and devotees. Shri Nathji had always said in the past that the easiest way to play mischief was through the food, which anyone could handle.“Kuchh bhee hai – chaahe beemaari yaa sharaarat, usse hataa do apni “Whatever it is – whether an illness or mischief, throw it aside with your power – your spiritual power.”Shri Nathji reiterates it is nothing but gas and explains how it shifts back and forth in His bowels and in His stomach above.“O Lord, please save us and help us – through Thy own Divine Body upon Earth – O Dear, Dear, Lord, please save us and help us.”At 3:30 am Shri Nathji asks for the Ayurvedic tablet, ‘Hajmola’, for the stomach. He sucks it for a while and then spits it out saying:“Maine kahaa moo ka svaad badal jaaye. Baaki sab ttheek hai.“I thought it might help change the taste in the mouth. Everything else is all right.”Shri Nathji enquires about the property problem at Dehra Dun, but Priya Nath is loathe to discuss the matter with Him for fear of causing Him strain. Shri Nathji wants to know how much money Vijay Kapahi has saved by his judicious payment to the Illustrated Weekly through the proper channels, for the advertisement of the World Prayer Day. “Vaise to ttheek thhaa kam karvaana.“It was proper to have reduced the cost.”At 3:50 am Shri Nathji tries to set aside Priya Nath’s fears by saying:“Tabeeyat to kharaab hai hee naheen.“Nothing is wrong with me. Only the stomach was upset – there was nothing else.”Priya Nath prays and prays as if his heart is on the verge of breaking, despite Shri Nathji’s assurances.“O Lord, please never let that dreadful tachycardia of 120 – 140 occur again, whatever it may have been.Priya Nath had shut off the air conditioner and the ceiling fan, because the room had become quite cool, and it was aggravating Shri Nathji’s cough. As the atmosphere inside begins to warm up Priya Nath prays:“O Lord, the air conditioner is off and so is the fan – I have to put one of them on. Please let me choose the right one.”It appears as if all of Priya Nath’s duties towards Shri Nathji are now dictated by his prayers to Shri Nathji as the Invisible Lord of the Universe. He has suddenly lost all confidence in his own ability to look after Shri Nathji.“When man becomes a picture of helplessness, like a zero, when he gives us all his desires – he becomes the instrument through which the Will of God begins working.”Priya Nath’s diaries are his conversations with God, in the form of his prayers for Shri Nathji.