Shri Nav Neet Lal Talwar came to me and said in a tearful voice: “HuzoorPITAJI STILL HAD THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE ON HIS FACE.Slowly Pitaji was raised up to the shoulders of the devotees, and I walked alongside as we made our way to the long staircase that led up to the V.I.P. rostrum. It was like the staircase of an Egyptian pyramid.“JAI NATH, JAI NATH, JAI JAI NATH” And cries of:“SHRI BHOLA NATHJI BHAGWAN KI JAI!”I noticed that Dr. Chavan of the I.I.T. had applied His shoulder to Pitaji; and I, too, found an opening and applied my shoulder alongside of him. I recollected what Pitaji had said to Dr. Chavan almost two years earlier:“Dr. Chavan, maine aapko apne dil men ek special darjaa diya hai – Pranji kaa darjaa. Aapko Priyaji kaa saath denaa hai!“Dr. Chavan, I have given you a special place in my heart, the status of Pranji. You have to stand by the side of Priyaji!”And here he was standing by my side in the place where Pranji should have been, applying his shoulder to Pitaji.O DEAR, DEAR, Pitiji – what a dreadful task that I had to perform – ESPECIALLY WHEN THOU LOOKED SO ALIVE!For a moment I thought of stopping the cremation and measuring Pitaji’s pulse. I WOULD NEVER SEE MY DEAR, DEAR, PITIJI IN HUMAN FORM AGAIN. HE WAS COMPLETELY HIDDEN FROM MY EYES NOW – WITHIN THE LITTLE ENCLOSURE OF LOGS. I WAS NOT WORTHY TO LOOK UPON THY FACE ANY LONGER.The worst was yet to come. The Pandit handed me a long flaming piece of wood and asked me to encircle Pitaji once and I did so.I LIFTED THE FLAMING TORCH AND RAISED IT TO MY FOREHEAD, SALUTING PITAJI WITH IT AS IF I WAS AN ACTOR ON STAGE – AND THEN APPLIED THE TORCH TO THE LOGS COVERING PITAJI.I stood there in the hot sun, along with the others, as the logs burnt and the small flames turned into larger flames.O LORD, O DEAR, PITIJI, I must have committed some grave sins in the world to have been robbed of the most precious gift of my life – THEE. I had taken my Dear, Dear, Pitiji for granted as He had been given to me too easily as a gift to an undeserving peson.