Posted on

Jagdish, the son of G.P. Bhutt, had developed so great a devotion in Shri Nathji and Mateshwari that he would say:
“With you at my back, I do not fear death even.”
His parents had wished that their son devote his life to Shri Nathji, and that was exactly what Jagdish was doing. He loved Shri Nathji more than he loved even himself and his parents.
He had stayed with Shri Nathji in 1941, 1942, 1943 during the years of Shri Nathji’s arm trouble, and he had diligently served Shri Nathji. He had lived with Shri Nathji in 1944 at Lahore and then gone to live with his parents who were in the Central Provinces. Even though in 1947 he was with his parents at Delhi, his heart yearned for Shri Nathji’s darshan all the time.
During the years he had lived with Shri Nathji, he had developed feelings of affection for Shri Nathji’s sister, Prem Pyari, who was living with Shri Nathji at the time. The desire to marry her grew in his mind but he could not place his heart’s desire openly before Shri Nathji and Mateshwari.  He came for Shri Nathji’s darshan in July 1947 and stayed with Shri Nathji for about 20 days. When he left Mussoorie he was in a state of great elation. He felt that Shri Nathji had accepted his wish unheard. He returned home and said to his parents: “Meri janam janam kee saadh poori ho gayi! My desire of the ages past has found fulfilment!” When he narrated the events to his parents their happiness knew no bounds. Mrs. Bhutt wrote to Shri Nathji, saying how fortunate they were that Shri Nathji wished to make them his own.
Gangabai Bhutt also wrote to Shri Nathji: “O Lord purify us even with blows if required. We would die, but never leave Thy Darbaar!” She described her own self as “Naalayak No.1 – Worthless No.1”
Shri Nathji appreciated her humility. Despite the fact that all other devotees looked upon her as a highly realised and saintly soul, one who had seen Lord Vishnu in the heavens and then found Him upon earth in the form of Shri Nathji, she never had a trace of pride in her. This pleased Shri Nathji greatly.  The words in her letter touched Shri Nathji.
Mrs. Bhutt wrote, hinting at the marriage of Jagdish with Prem Pyari: “That Thou even cared to consider us as fit for a relationship with Thee is beyond our conception. We are unworthy of Thee, but if Thou wish to make us our own we shall be the happiest persons in the world.”
But there were hurdles. Prem Pyari had chosen to live with Prem Nath at Dehra Dun and came only on rare occasions to live with Shri Nathji.  Mateshwari had an innate apprehension about her loyalty to Prem Nath. She did not think that Jagdish would find fulfilment in marrying her. Jagdish’s dreams of serving Shri Nathji all his life would not find completion if he were married to a partner who lived with someone inimical to Shri Nathji. Mateshwari had her reservations about the match primarily because of the close association of Prem Pyari with Prem Nath.
In the days that followed, Mrs. Bhutt sent a letter to Shri Nathji in which she wrote the following ominous words:
“Jagdish had a dream in which he saw an old man who led him to a grave-a samadhi- and told him this was to be his – Jagdish’s samadhi. My daughter, Pushpa, also had a similar dream. She had seen the same old man come to her and show her the samadhi. Months later she had died. I fear for Jagdish, This dream was not a nice omen…”